


Learning To Be Capable

by Purplehuntress3



Series: In The Future, When We’re Safe [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Bit of sad, Fluff, M/M, because i keep wanting to give them things, i give them a kid!, not much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 07:57:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15456792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purplehuntress3/pseuds/Purplehuntress3
Summary: “I never, ever, thought I was capable of doing any of this Caleb. But I did it. Here we are,” he pulled back to gesture round the hallway, “here we are in our own home. Because we learnt, darling. We learnt to be better, to overcome our difficulties. And right now… right now I would like to learn how to be a father.”





	Learning To Be Capable

**Author's Note:**

> all artwork in this story is by https://twitter.com/glossyjpeg . sage is the best i love them. Its also for all the widofjord discord.
> 
>  
> 
> You don’t need to read the first work, but I would to give a bit of context. And because Caleb almost gets squished by a dog.

The two of them slipped into retirement like a pair of well worn shoes.

It wasn’t _full_ retirement; Caleb had gotten himself a job at the local library that lets him read to his heart's content, and Fjord picks up odd jobs now and again. But, the two no longer travelled. No longer woke up in uncomfortable places at sunrise in the middle of nowhere. No longer risking their lives for some monetary gain. They had their own house, just the two of them, with a back garden where Fjord was growing vegetables and the biggest dining room they could find so when the others come back from their travels (because even though they had retired, there was no stopping those dumb idiots) they could come over to eat.

They had a routine for Pelor’s sake. Fjord would wake up at 7 and take Mondeo out for a walk, before crawling back into bed about 7:30. Caleb usually got up an hour later to make breakfast, and Fjord would join him after he decided the bed was now too cold.

Nothing ever happened that was out of the ordinary. They were perfect, sappy neighbours who always got free cookies from Doris down the street because _apparently_ no matter how long its been Caleb still doesn’t eat enough. They went to dinner parties with politicians, old friends who wanted to thank them _again_ for saving them. The two of them for once in their lives were perfectly normal. 

So of course it was a surprise when Kopje came along.

Fjord will defend to his dying breath that Caleb had the adoption problem in the relationship. He just has to open the back door to see all the stray cats that has come under his boyfriends care. Caleb has named everyone, and part of their daily routine is him sitting on the backstep talking to them, or lying underneath the tree in the garden surrounded by cats. So Caleb has the _problem._

But Fjord brought home Kopje.

It wasn’t too late in the evening.  A couple of Fjord’s new friends had invited him out to drink but he only had two before he started to miss Caleb and decided to wander back home. The streets of Rexxentrum have been ingrained into his mind for years now, and he knew his way back home easily. He wasn’t too far away when he heard a commotion from the street over; what sounded like a mix of laughter and crying from a loud group of people. Fjord decided he should check it out, to make sure everyone was alright. As he curved to corner he saw-

He saw a bunch of kids.

A range of ages, the youngest being about 7, oldest no more than 13. Mostly human, couple of half elves, and they were all crowded round something he couldn’t see. The kids laughed and kicked at whatever they were surrounding, and with every kick Fjord heard a cry.

He didn’t think. He pulled back his shoulders, showed of his tusks, and started shouting at the kids.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing!” As he shouted all the kids turned to look at him. Their faces dropped from happiness to fear as they saw him walk towards them. Usually he’d feel bad, he _hated_ using his appearance to make people fear him, but right now he just thought of another little kid, curled up as the older boys bullied him about his tusks.

The kids scattered, one of them even fell over into a puddle of mud before scrambling up, crying as he did so. Fjord watched them all run, making sure they were all gone before he turned to the child on the floor.

It was a half orc, no more than 10. He was curled up, one arm over his face and the other over his stomach to protect his weaker areas. He was bloodied, bruised, and covered in mud and spit from the boys. Fjord slowly knelt by him, and reached out to touch him but the boy flinched away. He hadn’t opened his eyes yet, still scrunched shut as he tried to block out what had happened. 

 

“Hey,” Fjord said softly, “don’t worry lil’ one. I ain’t here to hurt ya.” He placed the hand that had originally tried to touch him onto the ground beside him.

The boy finally looked up at him, and was obviously shocked to see him. His eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open a little, before he quickly closed it with an audible _click._ He scrambled up into a sitting position, hissing slightly as he pulled on some cuts. He curled his arms around his knees and brought them up to his chest, staring wide eyes at Fjord.

“It’s okay.” As Fjord spoke he raised his hand, palm facing flat towards him but he didn’t touch him. “Where are your parents kiddo?” The only reply he got was a short shake of his head.

Pelor’s breath this was starting to seem very familiar.

“You got a place to stay?” Another short shake, this one paired with a wince as his skin had been pulled taught by a cut. Fjord couldn’t leave him like this. He got a bit closer, and this time the boy didn’t move of flinch. “Do you want to come back with me?” The boy stared at Fjord searching in his eyes for some sort of lie, but he just knelt and smiled. At this, the boy started to cry again. With each breath he took he sobbed, before he lifted his arms towards Fjord. As he did, his right arm twinged and he pulled it back towards him quickly, but he left his other arm reaching towards Fjord.

Fjord gathered the boy in his arms and took him home.

—————

 

“Fjord.”

“Please.”

They were stood whispering outside the guest room, the door open to reveal the boy currently half curled around half smothered by Mondeo, who was awake and was watching the window and door like a guardian. The boy had his fingers curled into Deo’s fur, and his face was also buried in the dogs neck.

When Fjord had come through the door an hour ago, Caleb didn’t ask any questions. He walked over with a healing potion in one hand which, after the boy had flinched from his touch, he passed to Fjord who fed it to him. With the cuts and bruises healed he gave a quick flick of his wrist to cast prestidigitation to remove the blood and the dirt.

With the muck removed and in better lighting Fjord had gotten a better look at the boy. Skinny, short, under fed by a _lot_ ; he did not look at all healthy. Fjord had insisted they cook him up a meal but Caleb pointed out that the boys stomach would not be used to it and he would just be sick. So they brought him upstairs to sleep, where the moment they placed him down Mondeo jumped up to introduce himself. The boy had been scared at first but had eventually curled up beside him.

Caleb could understand why Fjord had brought him back. Every time he looked at the boy he imagined Fjord in a similar situation on the streets of Port Damali. But, even so.

“Neither of us are capable of looking after a child.” He spoke softly, constantly looking into the room to make sure he did not wake the boy. As Caleb spoke, Fjord looked pained.

“I ain't putting him back on the streets, Darling.” Fjord shook his head as he spoke, determined to keep the boy. “I refuse to let him go through that anymore.”

“That is not what I’m saying- what i’m saying is-“ Caleb struggled with his words, stumbling over them as he tried to be truthful. He brought his right hand up and pointed at his head. “I still scream some nights Fjord. Overwhelmed by memories. I- _I_ am not capable of raising a child.” He started to shake. His parents had been kind, yes, but the main figure in his life, in his _memories_ , was Trent, and he could not rid himself of what Trent had taught him.

Seeing him shake, Fjord pulled Caleb towards him and tucked Caleb’s head under his chin. He stroked his back in long, slow motions, trying to calm him down. A few minutes passed before Fjord spoke again, whispering into Caleb’s hair.

“When we first met, did you think you were capable of overcoming Trent?” Caleb thinks for a moment before shaking his head. “But you did, didn’t ya darling. You overcame him and left him behind for Beau to kick off a cliff. You did that. Now when we all first met, I didn’t think I was capable of a lot of stuff. I didn’t think I could kill dragons, but we have. I didn’t think we could kill beholders, or Fiends, or Demons, but we did.” He moved back a bit, tilting Caleb’s chin up and making eye contact. Caleb stared for a moment before closing his eyes and resting his forehead against Fjords. Even after all these years, he couldn’t keep eye contact for long. But this, this closeness he could do. Fjord continued softly, closing his own eyes as he spoke. “I didn’t think I was capable of this. Of having someone who loves me. Of having a home. A dog. Probably 15 cats.”

“19. Snookums had her litter the other day.” Caleb corrected. Fjord laughed.

“I never, ever, thought I was capable of doing any of this Caleb. But I did it. Here we are,” he pulled back to gesture round the hallway, “here we are in our own home. Because we _learnt,_ darling. We learnt to be better, to overcome our difficulties. And right now… right now I would like to learn how to be a father.” He paused, and heard Caleb draw a deep breath. “Now, I have been thinking about it for a bit, but it never felt like the right time to bring it up. And believe me, this is not how I thought it’d happen.” He stopped speaking again, returning them to their original position of Caleb under his chin.

“If this is not something you want,” Fjord murmured. “Then we’ll look for somewhere to put him. Somewhere nice. I’m pretty sure that gnome couple in Hupperdook have about 16 extra children from our travels.” He felt more than heard Caleb’s snort. “But I would like to try. I would like us to learn to be parents.”

Caleb pulled away slightly from Fjord, still surrounded by his arms but from this angle he was able to look up at him, at the bridge of his nose to feign eye contact. At this point Fjord doesn’t care about it, but it's a habit he can’t break. “I would like to learn.” Caleb’s voice was soft when he spoke, so quiet it was almost inaudible.

Fjord smiled, wide enough to rival one of Jesters. He kissed Caleb then, so excited he crushed their noses together before he turned to get a better angle. It was soft, and didn’t last long as he leant back and peppered kisses over Caleb’s face, leaving the last one pressed against his forehead.

“Go to bed, Schatz.” Caleb said, pressing his own kiss to Fjords lips, before Caleb pushed at his shoulder and towards their bedroom. “You have had a long day, and I need to clean up downstairs.” Fjord glanced back into the room, taking in the sight of the small boy curled up around Mondeo. The dog had fallen asleep now, a gentle rumble escapes every time he breathed. Fjord turned back to Caleb.

“I love you, Don’t stay up too late.” He whispered.

“Ich liebe dich, and I won’t.” Caleb replied, and Fjord turned and got ready for bed.

——-

In all honesty, Caleb didn’t have much to tidy up downstairs. He’d been waiting up with a book for Fjord to return so he would not have to go to bed alone, and he’d been ready for bed for a while. This however, threw off his mind enough that he knew he’d struggle to sleep that night.

He prepared a cup of tea, but forgot about it quickly and by the time he returned it was stewed and cold. He went through the motions of making another one, before he remembered that tea had caffeine in it and that would _definitely_ not help with his insomnia. In the end he curled in up on the sofa, as he watched the eternal flame they had to replace a fireplace. Caleb knew exactly how much time had passed, so he knew it had been 2 hours and 23 minutes since he had settled there when he heard the pattering of footsteps on the landing. Too light to be either Fjord or Mondeo, and Frumpkin was currently asleep on the mantelpiece, this meant it could only be one person.

Caleb sat still as he heard the boy come downstairs, and he only turned to look when the boy had reached the bottom. He was hunched over and he was constantly glancing about the room. Once he saw Caleb looking at him, he hunched more and stared at the ground.

“P-p-please don’t make m-me leave.” His voice was broken and hoarse from not being used, and it was clear it hurt him to talk. Caleb gestured to the boy to sit down on the sofa which he followed immediately.

 

“Listen to me.” Caleb said. He sat cross legged on the sofa facing the boy who was now curled up on the other side. Caleb clicked his fingers and Frumpkin appeared in his lap, annoyed at being awoken. “I… I do not have much experience with children. I am only good with people in general when I’m pretending. But, I will not make you leave.” He didn’t look at the boy, kept his eyes on Frumpkin and pet him as the cat moved about in his lap, trying to get comfortable. “You will be safe here, Liebling, I can assure you of that.”

He heard shuffling but Caleb did not look up at the boy, wanting to give him space. After a few moments a small green hand appeared in his view as he reached down to pet Frumpkin, who gladly accepted this new attention.

“Can-“ the boy broke off to cough, “can the doggy do that to? The clicky thing?” And he clicked his fingers together, and then looked confused when Frumpkin didn’t disappear.

“Nein, Mondeo- the dog- is not magical like Frumpkin here. Frumpkin is my familiar, so I summon him when I need him.” Caleb explained. He ordered Frumpkin to turn to the boy and stick out his tongue. As he blepped, the boy giggled, and stroked behind his ears.

“He is very cute.” _and so are you_ , Caleb thought. “Can I hold him mister…?”

“Caleb- just Caleb, please. No mister. And of course you can, Liebling.” Caleb bundled Frumpkin out of his lap and into the boys, and the cat proceeded to give him little kitten biscuits as he made himself comfortable.

The boy was in awe, mouth opened as he stared down at Frumpkin. He went back to stroking him, slowly, as if he had never felt something so soft. He looked up at Caleb, but he avoid eye contact, looking over Caleb’s shoulder just as he would do to people. “My name isn’t Liebling mis- Caleb. It is Kopje.”

Caleb smiled at Kopje. “A lovely name, for a lovely boy.” That earned him a smile. “But Liebling in my language means… well there’s no _direct_ translation. It is a term we use for young ones, like you.” Caleb looked around the room, searching for a book that Yasha had brought him down from Icehaven. Seeing Kopje distracted, he stood up and walked over to the bookshelves, reading over each spine before - _aha!_

He pulled out a thick book, not the thickest in his library, but larger than average. On the cover was a picture of two brothers, stood side by side, and underneath it read _The Collected Fairy Tales of The Brothers Grimm, by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm._ When Yasha had given it to him for his birthday he’d cried as he remembered all those nights curled by the fire in his mother’s arms as she read him tale after tale from the book. He turned towards Kopje, still fascinated by the cat in his lap, and realised that _he could have that_. Caleb held the book close to his chest as he walked back over and sat next to the boy.

“Now,” he spoke softly, opening the book and thumbing through the content, “when i was younger and could not sleep, my mother would read my stories from this book. Since neither of us can sleep, we should read some, ja?” Kopje nodded excitedly and he, carefully, removed Frumpkin from his lap as he peered over at the book’s content as well. The book was in common, though Yasha had promised she would try and find him a Zemnian copy soon. Caleb tilted the book so Kopje could see the titles of the stories, and he gestured for him to pick one. He reached forward and pointed to _The Pack of Ragamuffins._ He laughed. “Ah yes, our friend Jester loves this one. She called us all Ragamuffins for 3 months.”

Kopje twisted himself under Caleb’s arm, looking expectantly between him and the book. So Caleb turned to the page with the story, and started to read.

“The cock once said to the hen…”

——-

 

When Fjord awoke the next morning and found that not only was Caleb not in bed, but the boy was not in his, he expected the worst. So he scrambled down stairs only to find the two curled up on the sofa. Caleb laid flat on his back with the boy resting on his chest, head tucked under his chin. A story book lay on the floor near where Caleb’s hand hung. The two were snoring softly, peaceful in their slumber.

Yeah, Fjord thought, they could learn to be the best parents in the world.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos make me feel better about writing this and not my main multichapter fic


End file.
